There have been a lot of changes in most of our lives over the last 12 months or so, many of them out of our control. Change can be difficult to navigate and can knock a huge chunk of our confidence off kilter or away completely.
Confidence is your self-belief, the conviction you have in yourself to meet life’s challenges and succeed. I’ve met many people in my career who lack confidence, this can be due to work issues, redundancy, health (physical and mental), personal problems, even age can affect self-belief but as I talk to people, I’m keen to remind them that there is always something to build on, always something to be proud of and there’s always something out there for you, you just have to find it.
So what steps can you take to build confidence, here are some pointers that might help:
Cut negative self-talk – Nobody got anywhere by beating themselves up. Instead of “I’m no good at this”, say “What am I missing”. I spoke to someone recently who said “I’ve been managing really well at home, I clean, the cats are fed, clothes are put away. But I’m useless” Instead of focussing on what they had achieved, they’d given way to beating themselves up, when I pointed that out, they were quite surprised.
Identify your needs and wants – Modern life can often mean we get carried away, pressure from various places can mean what we believe we need and want isn’t actually the true. Focussing on what we basically need and what we really want in the short term can help us identify achievable targets which will therefore increase our confidence.
Put your needs first –Take simple steps, prioritise self-care, learn to speak clearly about what you need and always remember to say no if you need to.
Find the positives – You might feel you have to look really hard but there will be something, plant a seed, feed into it and it will grow. Even if you can only say you have good hair right now, this is enough.
Don’t compare –Your success isn’t comparable to someone else’s, unless you make it so. You have something to offer the world that no one else can – you! What you bring to a job or to the world in general will be different to someone else so try not to compare.
Seek positive support – Talk to supportive, honest friends and family, seek help from organisations that can help you such as Berkshire Vision’s support groups. Social media for its negatives has groups full of likeminded people, Facebook is a great resource for this.
Take care of your body – This makes such a difference, get good rest, stay hydrated, eat a balanced meal. Your body and brain need fuel, depriving it can really affect how you feel.
Embrace self-doubt – “Feel the fear and do it anyway”.
If you’re fearful of doing something, do it anyway, tell yourself it’s just an experiment, what is the worst that can happen? Take small steps and acknowledge your feelings, you’ll likely find it wasn’t as bad as you thought.
Building confidence doesn’t happen overnight, it takes work and time, but it’s worth it. Building your confidence can take you places you didn’t think you could go, in work and life in general.
We’ll be running a short workshop on building confidence at Berkshire Vision, it will be accessible via Microsoft Teams, if you’re interested please get in touch on employability@berkshirevision.org.uk
